And I confess: I can enjoy a confession of personal trauma, but I'm not sure it encourages me to believe in the characters' happily ever after.Take Beyond the Sea by Keira Andrews, which is a fairly straightforward, well-written collection of tropes with some character development (stuck-on-an-island M/M). The emotional connection between the two romantic leads hinges on confessions (by both parties) about the negative history that has kept them individually from moving forward.
This is a common trope in romances, and Andrews handles it well. After all, as all the interpersonal communications textbooks state, mutual disclosure is a sign of intimacy.
Okay, yes, well, but people also confess to their therapists. As Gottman points out regarding successful couples, those couples are not (actually) the ones who "talk through" every problem. Sometimes, they are simply very, very good with coping techniques (You get upset; I take a walk; you scrub the floors; I come back; we're fine).
Is "therapy" truly the best way to bind people together? Suppose everybody got cured; would the relationship still work?
After all, in Jane Eyre, when Jane learns about Rochester's huge trauma--his, uh, crazy wife--she takes off. Correctly, in my view, since it is one thing to marry a big, flawed, needy guy and another to hang around a big, flawed, needy guy who wants to explain his wife's problems. The worst dates I've ever had were with guys who wanted to discuss their exes. Really? And I should care--why?Andrews manages to convey that Troy and Brian will work out as a couple (despite their confessions); after all, they have survived on a tropical island for several weeks without killing themselves or each other. One of her most brilliant passages is Brian's explanation of introversion; even on an island with only one other person, he still needs some alone time, a breather. Troy's willingness to understand and respond appropriately convinced me of the couple's suitability long before the intimate confessions.
As with everything, it really helps if the confession, rather than hinging on "fixing" a person's emotional baggage, hinges instead on a specific problem or job. After all, trying to fix another person's emotional baggage might work; it also might suck the couple into a negative spiral (crazy people make even sane people crazy).
To be continued . . .
