Appearance & Identity in Manga and Other Works

In the manga series, His Favorite by Suzuki Tanaka, Sato was once a short, fat kid who got mocked by his peers (and defended by Yoshida). After time abroad, he returns tall, svelte, and handsome. 

Tanaka captures a basic truth with Sato (which Bronte also captures with Rochester). Whatever his appearance, he still thinks of himself as THAT kid. In fact, as far as Sato is concerned, he IS that kid. 

Sharyn McCrumb explains the psychology here in Missing Susan. Elizabeth MacPherson is on a tour with a woman, Susan, who had a great deal of cosmetic surgery and physical therapy. Susan is entirely exasperating (and is repeatedly nearly murdered). Fellow tour members explain why to Elizabeth:

"I don't think she's used to interacting socially," says one.

Another states, "She hasn't learned how to stop acting like a wallflower. She's only pretty on the outside; she doesn't believe it yet." 

Years ago, a reality show on television had people get plastic surgery. The plastic surgery was inevitably accompanied by therapy. And truth was, people really didn't change. In one episode, 3 sisters had plastic surgery to remove a genetic inheritance, what the sisters themselves referred to as turkey neck. After, the sisters went on a cruise.

And the one sister who was already straight-forward and confident behaved straight-forward and confident. And the other sisters, who were far less confident acted...exactly the same as they did before. 

With Sato, Tanaka captures a true inner issue: self-esteem honestly has little to do with appearance...unless appearance has been incorporated into a person's identity at a much earlier age. Yoshida is a short kid in high school, but he was the tallest in elementary school and still retains those leadership qualities.     

Dysfunctional Relationships: Can Happy Couples Bicker?

Based on multiple long-range studies, the Gottman Institute states that disdain/contempt is a strong indication that a relationship is doomed. 

And generally speaking, I've never bought into the sitcom relationships based on constant put-downs between spouses. When Tim Allen moved from (the successful) Home Improvement to (the successful) Last Man Standing, the wife became less critical. She also became both more independent and more likely to admire her husband.  

Of course, there is Howard and Bernadette on Big Bang Theory, who snipe at each other on a regular basis. For good or ill, I believe in the relationship. One possibility is that Bernadette, despite her small size, is such a replica of Howard's mother--at least in tone--I can accept that Howard has married what he knows. 

To an extent, what is considered contemptuous may depend entirely on the couple: what appears unworkable to outsiders could be entirely workable to insiders.  

 

Great Sci-Fi Couple: Mulder and Scully, Romantic Friends

On Votaries, I am posting about Characters Who Transform. A subcategory is Characters Who Disguise Themselves. And an odd subcategory is Characters Who Disguise Themselves Permanently. 

Under that last category, I am posting about Mulder and Scully. 

I'm a huge fan of Mulder and Scully. I think they fall into the "Friendship" category of romantic partners rather than the "Knight and Damsel in Distress" or "Instant Attraction" categories. And a great deal of that friendship comes about because Scully joins Mulder on his "island." They are not technically in disguise but they are isolated by their mutual knowledge of the Truth or the Pursuit of Truth.  

This type of thing can get a little squeamish--Stockholm Syndrome, anyone? 

But like the young man who returns to his wolf lover, nobody is being coerced. The choice to walk into the dark, onto the island, away from the "accepted" narratives is made with the eyes wide open. 

Friendship runs the relationship because the final "I love you! I love you!" confrontation is not the point. The couple have already been living a "marriage" for most of the seasons. Their relationship is the relationship of people who are so far gone in terms of intimacy with another human being, there can be no one else. 

One of my favorite scenes where closeness replaces declarations of affection is "Memento Mori." Scully tells Mulder that she has cancer and instead of getting maudlin, he says, "I refuse to accept that." I LOVE that line: "I refuse to accept that." Somehow, it makes Mulder so much more real and more passionate than the usual romantic hero and yet, at the same time, gives you a sense of Mulder's personality. 

The Lack of Couples--And Interest--in 3 of Shakespeare's Plays

I gave myself a pass on Timon of Athens, Titus Andronicus, and The Tragedy of Troilus and Cressida. I didn't try to read or watch them.  

The authorship of at least one of these plays is disputed. It isn't that Shakespeare couldn't write bad plays. But the plots of these plays...

Words fail me. 

I distill the play's plots using three different quotes plus fantastic cartoons from Good Tickle Brain:

Timon of Athens. A video summarizing the plot states, "Apemantus swings by to accuse Timon of copying his sarcastic and negative attitude." 

I love "swings by."   

A FaceBook summary of Titus Andronicus states, "14 people dead, 6 severed members, one rape, one live burial, one person insane, and one case of cannibalism."

And of Troilus and Cressida, Wikipedia states, "While this plot gives the play its name, it accounts for only a small part of the play's run time."

So...I'm not going to waste my time pondering these plays' relationships. 

Assumptions as Disguise; Revelation as True Knowledge

In romance, a lovely version of disguise based on assumptions is when assumptions are set aside and the couple make a connection. Darcy and Elizabeth, of course, are a classic example. Elizabeth especially--since so much of the novel is told from her perspective--sets aside her assumptions about Darcy (based on her own ideas and Wickham's insidious suggestions) to figure out the guy as he is, from his housekeeper, no less! 

In yaoi/MM romance, Winterbourne and Wataya are two great examples. In Joanna Chambers' Introducing Winterbourne, the secondary hero, Adam, realizes that his host for the day, Lysander Winterbourne, is not like his father. His blond good looks and careful tact are not the looks and actions of a self-entitled brainless profligate yuppie (the 19th century equivalent) but those of an insightful and kindly man who would rather be looking after an estate than meeting people in parlors. 

In Cherry Magic, Tsuge originally sees Wataya as a "punk." His magic allows him to see that Wataya is actually a pretty responsible and straightforward guy--who likes cats! 

The "reveal"--the disguise tossed off--happens mentally. It is just as satisfying as a cloak being removed.  

Disguising the Murder in Appointment with Death

The current A-Z List on Votaries deals with character who transform, either internally or externally. 

One type of transformation occurs when a character throws off a disguise. Disguises themselves fall into various categories: disguises assumed by need, disguises assumed by personal desire. 

One disguise is a type that Agatha Christie used in her writing: the disguise that occurs because of what people don't see, based entirely on their assumptions. (Ignoring "staff," for instance.) 

Research backs up Christie, including research about eyewitnesses and whether or not people notice gorillas during basketball games. The disguise is not as fool-proof as Christie often claims. In the aforementioned research, what people don't see is a percentage, not an absolute. 

But her point is still valid. When I was about ten and playing a softball game in the gym with other ten-year-olds, I walked, rather than ran, between two bases. Only the amused teacher noticed what I was doing. If I had run, I would have instantly attracted everyone's attention, which was currently focused on the batter. So I walked and made the base.

Disguises that blend in because nobody expects what is there are fairly brilliant. 

*Spoilers* 

From the book version of Appointment with Death, Lady Westholme doesn't dress herself up as someone else but she does use her companion's assumptions to disguise the truth. When Lady Westholme calls out to the dead woman and then mutters, "So rude, the way she grunted," her companion assumes that an entire dialog took place. Consequently, the companion reports later that the dead woman was actually alive at a certain time. 

People who see half a stop-sign draw the whole thing. True story--and a remarkable indicator of how our brains fill in gaps.

And how Agatha Christie was able to devise murders that others might miss.   

Dysfunctional Couples: Relationships That Won't Work but are Written Well

I was a young teen--fourteen or so. I was sitting in the back of my friend's car while her mother drove. Her mother had divorced and later remarried. My friend was the only child from the remarriage (my friend had multiple older step-siblings). 

The mother said, "Of course, if both members of the couple were truly Christian, they would be able to make the marriage work."

Without thinking, I said, "Oh, that isn't true!" 

In retrospect--about two hours later--I freaked out. I would never had said anything if I'd thought about what I was saying and to whom. But from the perspective of decades, I'm glad I did. What I remember is the mother's gratified smile. She wasn't upset at my teenage disgust at the idea that any two people could make a go of it as long as they were nice or moral enough. 

Oddly enough, many television relationships reveal a similar mindset to that woman. That is, they can't image that two characters they like can't make a go of it. If the relationship fails, it must be due to a 3rd party--a rival--cheating--or the possibility of cheating. 

But three of the best-written non-workable couples on television reveal the opposite. 

Sherlock and Fiona from Elementary: Sherlock is honestly attracted to Fiona and she to him. He honestly likes her and vice versa. He doesn't break up with her due to her neural atypical behavior. Rather, he breaks up because he perceives himself as his work, not as a man who works and then has a relationship. Watson challenges his approach when she points out that her mother has no interest in her father's books. But Sherlock is not the same as Watson's mother, and Watson doesn't assume he should be, only that he should be kind and quick in his break-up. 

Jo and Isaac from Forever:  Jo and Isaac date for approximately 3 episodes (see image above). And Isaac is a great, fun guy! In the end, however, Jo realizes that she would rather spend time with Henry. 

Jo and Henry are an interesting match. Not only do the actors have terrific chemistry, there is never any suggestion that their first loves won't remain their first loves. The future relationship (which would have happened if the show didn't end with Season 1) rests on the fact that they not only like each other, they like what the other person wants in a relationship. What Isaac wanted was not what Jo wants--which, again, she perceives in Henry. 

Booth and Hannah I write about here: https://katewoodbury.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-significant-others-other-bones.html

In all three cases, the issue is not CHEATING. The issue isn't even personality. Everybody is swell. The issue is what each person looks for in a relationship. Absent a cultural agreement--A relationship IS the following--that issue comes down to individual compatibility.