Saturday, March 16, 2024

Wonderful Couple: Evelyn and Bill from Bones

 I love Evelyn and Bill for several reasons. 

1. Wonderful actors! The actors, John Ratzenberger and Millicent Martin, often play frenemies on sitcoms and other shows: combative or long-winded characters against whom the main characters react. They are both fantastic comedic actors, and I love that they get an episode where, yes, okay, they are villains but they are so darn funny and nice! Their blithe confession is delivered with perfect comedic timing, especially the line about the victim: What kind of man is he? He brought his mistress on a couples' retreat!

2. Wonderful marriage! Sure, they thieve together, and they killed together. But what dedication! What warmth! What easy communication! What a great married couple! 

3. Wonderful foils! They mirror Bones and Booth. At this point in the show, Booth has turned down Bones's marriage proposal but won't tell her why. At the marriage retreat, undercover as Tony and Roxie, they demonstrate that despite this temporary snag, they are still better at cheering each other on than many of the other couples. (Many of the other couples demonstrate what Gottman says is the primary marriage-killing emotion: contempt.) 

Like Bones and Booth, Evelyn and Bill are supportive teammates.

Friday, March 15, 2024

Agatha Christie and Jealousy: "The Edge"

Despite my appreciation of Agatha Christie's Harley Quin, I can't say I enjoy all his stories--though Christie consider Harley Quin and Mr. Satterthwaite her favorite characters. Not all the stories are mysteries and many of them don't end with a HEA (Happily Ever After). Generally, I find a satisfactory HEA far more pleasurable than a sad ending--not only for the obvious reason but because I consider a satisfactory HEA difficult to write and therefore impressive to read. But I appreciate that Christie wanted to give all sides of the romance equation. 

Like Sayers, one part of love that Christie delineates quite well is jealousy. At least the first two stories in the Harley Quin collection revolve around jealousy--jealousy that could potentially ruin a new marriage and jealousy that does in fact destroy a relationship.

However, I consider the darkest Christie story that tackles jealousy to be "The Edge," a non-Harley Quin story in The Harlequin Tea Set

What is remarkable about the story is that Christie gives a fairly nuanced view of a character who is not evil and even, arguably, justified in her behaviors. But her knowledge of her rival's love affair morphs into self-righteousness. Her self-belief in her restraint gets threaded through by a nasty undercurrent of self-satisfaction. In the end, she drives her rival to kill herself and in the process, her own self-identity. She can no longer see herself as a long-suffering saint who is doing the best for everyone when she became the cruel harasser of a victim. 

Christie has not always been credited for the strength and depth of her characters. She should be. She uses a light touch to deliver small excellent portraits. And her understanding of human nature is clear and honest.

Monday, March 11, 2024

Everybody in Romance Needs a Job: What Is It About Doctors and Romance?

Last summer, I watched a Thai drama with a doctor as the protagonist. He is less arrogant and angst-ridden than some of the doctors mentioned below. But he is working in a poor/rural area of Thailand to make up for driving drunk (nobody was hurt though he smashed up his car).

The drama doesn't resolve the doctor's potential "workaholic" tendencies, but it reminded me how popular doctors are in romance!

On television: ER. Saving Hope (which starts as a decent medical mystery show with supernatural elements; then, turns into Soap Opera Central). Dear Doctor, I'm Coming For Soul. And more!

In manga: A Murmur of the Heart by Makoto Tateno followed by A Waltz in the Clinic by the same author. Allure by Yuri Ebihara showcases an eye doctor. And of course, the doctor is a major character in Hana-Kimi by Hisaya Nakajo.

Why are doctors so popular?

(1) Like many other alphas, doctors appear naturally attractive, being authoritarian (supposedly), hard-working, and responsible (except for all the doctors on Law & Order who kill people when they're drunk). 

AND he broods . . .

(2) It is easy to give a singular doctor character Holmes and Watson qualities, to make him or her seemingly cold yet affectionate, logical yet emotional, all at the same time. Don't believe me? See Hawkeye from M.A.S.H. The cold man or woman who feels deeply, can't express it, and has to thaw is a VERY popular romance trope.

The same way everybody secretly thinks they weren't popular in high school, everybody secretly thinks they need to be warmed up. (Allure references Andersen's Snow Queen tale directly.)

(3) The alpha is useful writing fodder. Doctors are even more useful since they come with plots and problems and tension ready-made. Not sure what to do with the alpha character this week? Throw in a patient with a mysterious disease (or turn the whole show into House). After all, romances where people have jobs are always more grounded than romances that don't.

Like Star Trek and Sherlock Holmes, doctor dramas--especially doctor dramas where people fall in love--will always be with us.

Thursday, March 7, 2024

Sci-Fi Couple: Charlie and Amita

Technically, Charlie and Amita from Numb3rs are not science-fiction. They belong to a contemporary police procedural type mystery. 

But they fall into the category of great friends and lovers who delve, together, into unique scientific disciplines. Their specialties overlap yet are quite distinct as are their interests. Charlie is more prone to figuring out a problem in his head--and writing a book--while Amita sees a potential for emergence, "a game taking on a life of its own."

The most telling aspect of Charlie and Amita's relationship--the thing that makes them a sci-fi geeky couple--is Larry's quote after Charlie and Amita try to go on dates and talk about "normal" things (movies and such). 

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: That there's something else you have to talk about [strikes me as odd]. See, where you see two people unable to talk about politics or movies--

Charlie Eppes: Hey, movies, I - I can - I can talk about - I just saw the penguin movie.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: --I see two extraordinary minds that can communicate on the purest level a man and woman can interface on. [Pauses to think.] Okay, second purest.

Charlie Eppes: Geek love.

Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: Hey, no better kind.

Larry's point, which later proves correct, is that rather than the mundane, domestic events proceeding the extraordinary and sublime, the relationship can work the other way round. Charlie and Amita do become a functional couple (they can discuss house-hunting as well as the cosmos). 

The potential for both is indicated early on before Charlie and Amita are "steady"--but they have been working together for awhile.

Amita wants to help a young Indian woman and doesn't know how. Charlie says, "Why not ask your grandmother? She seemed to have good ideas." Charlie is talking out loud--he isn't trying to tell Amita what to do--but his suggestion gives her an epiphany, and she kisses him.  

Geek love-to-real life: it's possible!

Tuesday, March 5, 2024

The Smiles Sell the Scenes

Physical acting is important. It is one reason Keanu Reeves is actually quite enjoyable to watch: he moves so well

Two of my favorite characters in BL have fantastic smiles. "Ah, there's that million-dollar smile," I say when one lights up the screen. 

Can from Love by Chance is the first. In one scene, he gets Tin to buy him lunch and collects several plates of food. He smiles cheerfully at Tin as he sits down to start eating. 

He then delivers this hilarious little old man nod when Tin asks, "You can eat all that?"

But the smile comes first. 

In a later scene, Can smiles at Tin after he apologizes for mean things he said to Tin. He then holds out his pinkie to seal their rapprochement. 

The second character, Gun, comes from My School President. He smiles slowly when Tinn kisses him on the cheek, a signal that Tinn intends to court him eventually. For all his bohemian tendencies, Gun is the less confident and more serious of the two. The pure happiness--I am loved--of his smile goes straight to the heart.  

Sunday, March 3, 2024

Relationship Advice for Fictional Couples: Not Every Couple Solves Problems the Same Way

I do consider John Gottman one of the better marriage advice book writers (the statement here is relative--the first two books are enough). In his books, Gottman points out that not every couple solves problems by "talking them out." 

His researchers discovered that successful couples have different methods of arguing and then moving on. (Success was based on the couple staying together over a multi-year study.) Such couples developed methods of so-called conflict resolution that might involve talking but not automatically. One member of a couple might drive around in a car and then come home. One member might get started on a project.  

After all, "2/3rds of relationship problems are unsolvable." Each member of the couple has to find ways to accept the unsolvable parts.

The important point, of course, is the method for managing conflict has to work for both members of a couple. 

My favorite successful example in BL is Can and Tin from Love by Chance 2. Tin, who is a serious romantic, will often make an emotional demand and then pout when Can doesn't go along. Can will then cajole him--in Can's very direct way--back into easy compliance.

It is the kind of approach that could backfire if Tin was being manipulative and Can felt coerced. But the actors manage to give the characters an easy low-key "yup, okay" attitude during their negotiations. After time, the pattern grows into a kind of communication. The pattern IS how they tell each other about stuff, and they do it on a constant basis. 

Consequently, it is one of those relationships I give a long-term chance. 

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Bad (as in Boring) Marriage Advice

I intended, a year or so ago, to write a series of posts about marriage advice and where that advice shows up in romantic fiction. 

I started with Gottman, who has actually done studies on what makes marriages work and has challenged a few sacred cows. 

I gave up. 

The reason: even Gottman's books get very samey. 

In fact, most books on marriage are about three or four pieces of decent advice wrapped up in entirely generic language with examples pulled from therapy sessions--and workbook pages. 

The writing--with the exception of the examples--reminds me of AI-generated writing

It is not that hard to create AI writing. Here is a made-up passage of a typical marriage advice book:

Of course, good communication starts with honest appraisals. The couple should matter-of-factly and frankly report their reasons for getting upset. Only when the couple can candidly face the true grounds for lashing out can the problem be resolved. 

In short--don't lie. 

Every time I try to read a marriage advice book (because relationships interest me), I start skipping the long-winded passages for the stories (which can be quite insightful). I also conclude that the whole thing could be reduced to a 10-page article and make a stronger impression. 

In any case, my brief foray into marriage counseling books convinces me that my underlying argument for this blog and the romance genre is correct:

The best way to learn about love is to learn about individuals.