Annabeth Albert is especially adept at creating friends-to-lovers within her M/M Romances. Her military romances are okay, but I very much enjoyed her gaymers (yes, "gaymer"--feel free to groan at the pun) series. She knows that world inside and out! Connection Error is the beginning of the cross-over between the two worlds. Although seemingly quite different people, Josiah (a gamer) and Ryan (a military man) bond over the role-playing game produced by Josiah's company. Through these moments of bonding, their awareness of each other's interests and needs grows. A desire to get a dog. Opinions and worries about what to do after the military. Eating out. Long-term work goals.
Playing online morphs to chatting online and although sex is introduced early, the friendship precedes the romance, then supplements it.
Off Base also combines gaming and military characters in one. It is actually the beginning of Albert's military romances but starts in the gamer world, of which Zack is a member. He goes on to become a professor of statistics instead. The personalities, habits, ideologies and attitudes of both the gamers and the professors are all quite realistic. (In fact, Albert's description of a classroom where one student is listening to music, one is playing a game on his lap-top, one is knitting, and one is an eager beaver ready to answer ALL the teacher's questions: total hoot.)
In Connection Error, still growing up at 23-years-old Josiah does not accept Ryan's offer that he move in and take care of Josiah when Josiah's mother gets married and moves out. Josiah argues that he is Ryan's boyfriend, not a "cause" to be charitably handled. Along the same lines, in nearly every book, as part of the emotional climax, the protagonists realize that they were both part of the miscommunication/narrative problem. Although in Off Base, Zack's reluctance to come out to his family and team-members is the biggest issue, Pike's reluctance to actually form a commitment (out of fear of getting hurt) plays a part as well.
Love is not the almighty excuse that washes away all problems, issues, confusions, etc. etc. etc. Rather love is something both characters need to work on. The reader believes that Albert's characters can do this--their friendship already proves the possibility.
(Plus, in these books specifically, Albert takes the time to "show" the friendship rather than saying, "Oh, they talk a lot about mutual interests and had a great time!" Note to romance writers: if you don't give me actual dialog where the characters actually talk like the couple in The Thin Man, I'm not going to believe they can.)
