I am continually surprised by how reviews of visual mediums can be so entirely non-visual.
Reviews of Yossi make my point.
Yossi is the 10-years-later sequel to Yossi & Jagger. Yossi is now a surgeon. He is still mourning Jagger's death. He is a stocky guy who in certain dress can look a tad dumpy. When a work situation nearly goes badly, he takes time off. After visiting Jagger's parents' home, he starts driving. He picks up some soldiers (quite literally--he drives them where they need to go). One of them, cheekily and cheerily "out", ends up picking up Yossi.
Yossi's self-disgust, his shame at his physical body is part of the story. The young soldiers captivate him not only due to their quandary (he reacts to their need for help like a low-key commanding officer) but because they represent the world he left and lost years earlier. They are easily self-assured with the exuberant physicality that accompanies their occupation and their age.
Here is what amazes me--how many reviewers take Yossi's self-disgust at face value. I'm not talking about those immature reviewers who complain that Yossi isn't "hot enough" to be paired with Tom (though I address that below) but rather those reviewers--even those complimentary of the film--who completely and totally accept Yossi as unattractive because the characters, including Yossi, say so.
First, Yossi is played by Ohad Knoller, and is so utterly attractive, no matter his age, that the issue of "hotness" is moot.
More importantly, however, he is a stellar actor.
Ohad Knoller uses physical language like a master. When he goes to a "hook up" early on in the film, he hunches in on himself like a wounded bear. His clothes and mannerisms and even facial expressions contribute to the impression that he has entirely changed from the man he was 10 years earlier.
However, when he is at the hospital, he carries himself quite differently. He is still unhappy, wary, quick to retreat into himself. But he has a role to play. Consequently, he carries himself with a kind of "parade" posture. He is tense but authoritative in his bearing.
He only truly relaxes with the soldiers. Entirely. He slumps easily in his seat, hands brushing the steering wheel. He smiles more. Although he is still reserved, his body exudes confidence and amusement. It is easy to see why Tom would find him attractive.
It is customary for fiction to present a gap between the narrator's understanding and the "reality" of the story. When it comes to novels and short stories, audiences seem ready to accept that gap: after all, language is slippery.
But in the visual arts, for some bizarre reason, audiences often seem ready to believe what they are told as opposed to what they see. It is less a matter of "what I see is what I get" and more a matter of "what I've been told to see, that's what I see."
But directors are visual people--they rely on images to communicate, and they expect communication to go beyond speech.
It's no use blaming the evil media for "controlling" audiences with imagery if audiences are unwilling to ask themselves, "What did I actually see in the first place? What are the visual cues?"