Relationship Advice for Fictional Couples: Gottman's Principles

John M. Gottman is responsible for the Gottman Love Lab that looks at what actually works between couples and what doesn't. 

I chose Gottman to begin this series of posts because Gottman is less concerned with telling couples how to be successful and more concerned with figuring out how successful couples function. Consequently, he is less concerned with saying, "That isn't what husbands or wives are supposed to be," and saying, "Here is what works, folks, based on research."

As a romance reader, I like to read about all kinds of couples, not just the so-called acceptable couples!

These posts will each focus on a particular couple. The two posts here will focus on Jordan and Perry Cox from Scrubs. 

A little background:

Excellent illustrations of Devil in Winter

from a blog of romance manga

For most of the 20th century, romance novels used demure, innocent heroines alongside domineering, brusque heroes. Towards the end of the 20th century, this combo pack fell out of fashion. It has thankfully come back--that is, it is currently more than okay to have a feisty, worldly heroine but it is also okay to have a demure, innocent heroine (the best example of the latter type in my opinion is the heroine of Kleypas's Devil in Winter who is demure and innocent while fundamentally tough).

However, for about a decade or so (basically, the 80s), it was considered...dare I say "politically incorrect"...to use demure, innocent heroines. Romance writers began presenting readers with pushy, opinionated heroines.

Now, there is nothing wrong with pushy, opinionated heroines (says this opinionated, occasionally pushy blog writer). However, Gottman would be able to pinpoint a problem.

The problem:

1. The heroines were (still) paired with domineering, brusque heroes (who liked having their opinions challenged). The pairing often resulted in mutual contempt, which Gottman pinpoints as one of the primary "horsemen" of an incipient divorce.

To be continued...