Are Soulmates Possible in History? Yes!

On Votaries, I review Gary Corby's series in which a young Athenian man at the beginnings of Athenian democracy, which lasted about fifty years, investigates crimes. He, Nicolaos, is helped by his soulmate, Diotima. He finds her beautiful. He also likes her intelligence and her fierceness. He takes for granted certain prerogatives of his culture, but he also prefers to work with Diotima rather than treat her as an adversary whose biology makes her someone to pat on the head and/or control. 

So, is Corby being historically accurate? The books are impressively accurate in terms of setting and history and attitudes. Is his couple possible? 

Yup! 

These couples exist all over the ancient world. There are in the Bible, for one. And in myth, including Osiris and Isis. And in historical accounts which discuss husbands consulting and relying on their wives. Tiye in Ancient Egypt was "The Elder Lady" and clearly a kind of power broker. Before he locked her up, Henry II put Eleanor of Aquitaine in charge of his entire kingdom on several occasions. He locked her up because she sided with their sons, not because he ever viewed her as incompetent (quite the opposite).

The characters in Corby's series are lower middleclass (modern terms but the closest I can get) rather than high society power brokers. But in truth, high society tends to be more reactionary and conservative than classes in which men and women work side by side on a daily basis. Consider debutantes and other such roles that linger even today.

Antonia Fraser's The Weaker Vessel, which covers what we would term "middleclass" couples, points to this truth. Men and woman had as variable relationships in the past as they do now. Women in bad situations who wanted to leave and women who wanted to, say, go to college and become lawyers didn't really get those chances. But that doesn't mean that all couples were composed of a domineering man and a fragile obedient woman. That dynamic did exist. And so did many, many other dynamics! 

Lovers of Valdaro

People are people--which means that in the past in a relationship some people wanted a helpmeet. Some wanted a soulmate. Some were overwhelmed by emotion and lust. Some married because somebody told them to (both men and women married for this reason). Some because of propinquity. Some because of friendship. Some because they wanted to escape scandal. Some because they wanted money. Some because they wanted position. Some because they wanted kids. Some because they were escaping something else. Some because it was just the next thing that one did. Some because...

Nicolaos and Domitia are entirely possible!