I started with Gottman, who has actually done studies on what makes marriages work and has challenged a few sacred cows.
I gave up.
The reason: even Gottman's books get very samey.
In fact, most books on marriage are about three or four pieces of decent advice wrapped up in entirely generic language with examples pulled from therapy sessions--and workbook pages.
The writing--with the exception of the examples--reminds me of AI-generated writing.
It is not that hard to create AI writing. Here is a made-up passage of a typical marriage advice book:
Of course, good communication starts with honest appraisals. The couple should matter-of-factly and frankly report their reasons for getting upset. Only when the couple can candidly face the true grounds for lashing out can the problem be resolved.
In short--don't lie.
Every time I try to read a marriage advice book (because relationships interest me), I start skipping the long-winded passages for the stories (which can be quite insightful). I also conclude that the whole thing could be reduced to a 10-page article and make a stronger impression.
In any case, my brief foray into marriage counseling books convinces me that my underlying argument for this blog and the romance genre is correct:
The best way to learn about love is to learn about individuals.
